December 18, 2017
Motherhood is a beautiful feeling. And not many would disagree with that. But, just as most things in the world, it isn’t all good, all glory, all white and all beautiful. It comes with its own challenges and if you can tide through that, you will be able to enjoy the bliss. And riding through physical, emotional and social changes can be daunting and it is perfectly okay to accept that it isn’t a cake walk and not all days are the same.
Here are some challenges that very few mothers talk about. Call it a taboo or just social pressure of being the ‘Mom’ who endures it all with a smile– but we are human too and it is time to acknowledge certain truths to educate expecting moms and a way of saying, I hear you. “ It is years of conditioning that discourages moms from speaking of the difficulties; the post partum depressions and the aches and pains. We are supposed to feel blessed and happy despite going through physical and hormonal change that makes us cranky, unhappy or just challenged. We tend to look down with suspicion on woman who complain of the realities. And that’s why most of them don’t speak about it. We are supposed to be engulfed with kindness, compassion and patience all of a sudden; with the birth of a young one. I find it strange how society judges us as mothers,” says Rakhi Sharma, a new mother who has to fake a smile at all times in her joint family.
What to expect
Vaginal bleeding and sore bottom: Vaginal bleeding isn’t the kind of bleeding that we are used to. Just after delivery, vaginal bleeding becomes a nagging issue. This bleeding is called lochia and could be persistent for about a month or a little longer. This isn’t something scary but you need to know why it happens to take it easy. The main reason behind this is that the body needs to expel wastes such as dead tissues, remains of the placenta and the inner lining of the uterus and other remains. You can’t be up and about after delivery, even if you have wished that way. It might take weeks for you to gain back that strength to run your daily chores apart from taking care of your new born. Your hormonal changes that result in aches and pains pre delivery also create havoc post delivery resulting in postpartum depression and other health issues. Post Partum depression is a reality, and it can make you feel miserable.
An inflamed stomach: Your uterus doesn’t come back to its normal position soon after the delivery. Infact, long after your delivery, you still might sport the same stomach. Some woman expect an overnight transformation after the delivery, they expect to go back to the same shape soon after, which is unrealistic.
“I feel bad for woman in the glamour industry. They have to try so hard to get back in shape that they hardly get to enjoy the phase they are in. We remember what happened with Aishwarya Rai. I was suggested the post partum belt to reduce stomach, but that should be given by the doctor,” says Sandhya Kumar, mother to a 2-year- old.
Less sleep: Don’t blame yourself if you feel irritable and unwell, afterall, sleep becomes a luxury after a child’s birth. The only suggestion that seasones mother comes out with is, “sleep when the baby sleeps.”
Breastfeeding challenges: For most of us, breastfeeding seems like a natural process that we don’t have to bother much. But not really. You have to struggle a bit to get the flow and the position right. And once you do get that right, you are engages every two hours, that right!