September 21, 2018
The splendid sight of Rainbow gives each one a hope, positivity and a sense of joy. It isn’t true for ‘Rainbow of LGBT’, by community that is likely to face equality share in times to come. The heterosexual community might not completely shun gays or gay couples. But it yet to accept the member especially if found within family. Among families there is no joy of knowing their child is gay and it’s the end to future generations. Several generations have seen such children as mental deformity as children are either seen as girl and boy who would marry opposite gender. The deviation from society conditioning in all aspects on gays marriage, adoption, divorce etc., are going to be debatable until LGBT community equals heterosexual in number and rights. Will it lead to new ‘untouchability’ theory, time will witness it? Views and opinions of heterosexual and LGBT are presented.
Scrapping 377 section, should gay couples be allowed to legalize marriage?
Mrs. Rakhee Dwivedi, Principal of Little Star Preschool, Vijayapura says, ‘Being gay is not man-made, they are part of society. They can also be looked up like heterosexuals but for a while society will judge gay couples.’
Dr. Shayan Haq, Dermatologist, says, ‘It’s yes and no! If the relationship is just for pleasure, its wrong.’
Ms. Pooja Srivastava from Ghaziabad who is self-employed and has a partner, says, ‘Decriminalization of gay relationship yet to receive equal rights like heterosexuals. As it is basic right of every citizen. Being a single status in the society is challenging. Decriminalization yet to pave a way for making assets, loan, insurance nomination and so on.’
Mr. Ankur Mondal from Delhi who is a bisexual, says, ‘Marriage is to unite two souls for happy life. Families whose children identifies themselves with orientation of LGBT need to accept. Every individual has a right to have a partner. However, polygamy can’t be encouraged where a bisexual wants to have a both. The attraction could be with both but one needs to choose either one partner.’
Mr. Vijay Arora from Dalhousie (presently in Delhi), says, ‘The first milestone LGBT community witnessed was scrapping 377, however, yet miles to go before we sleep. All civil rights must be made applicable in near future. Consenting adults who would like to spend rest of life together is in itself a witness to love. If one believes, then why genders are to be considered?’
Is it a good idea to allow adoption of children for gay couple?
‘No. As child needs holistic development. On the sympathetic side of orphan adoption could seem great but there are other concerns to address’, says Rakhee Dwivedi
‘Education institutions will find it hard to educate heterosexual children. Bullying could be a concern to look out for’, says Dr. Shayan Haq
‘It’s a great idea. This could be a game changer to several orphans. As several heterosexuals first prefer for normalcy pregnancy. Then they would try other methods for several years until the hope is lost. The last thing for several heterosexuals is adoption! Whereas gay couples are aware of the limitation until and unless its surrogacy or test tube baby. Homeless will find a home and loving couples’, says Pooja Srivastava
‘Every individual either of their sexual orientation could be given a choice to adopt’, says Ankur Mondal
‘Who wouldn’t prefer to have offspring and extended family? Adoption is great or other ways such as surrogacy could be a way to begin. There is so much to offer to a child among gay couples. The resistance from society has made gays to value relationships and mean the responsibilities. In a way, gay couples could become better parents than heterosexuals’, says Vijay Arora
Adoption of children by gay couples, will it go against normalcy for a family of heterosexuals?
‘Commonly children are either born as male or female. Nobody asks a mother; did you give birth to gay? Acceptance of deviation will be a new norm as heterosexuals accepts them and rights are excised’, says Mrs. Rakhee Dwivedi
‘As there is gender stereotyping exists such as Jalebi is referred to girl and peda to a boy, gay children are likely to be subjected such stereotyping. Stigma that exists for HIV infected children among HIV negative and perception of them among education institutions is likely to be a scenario,’ says Dr. Shayan Haq
‘The abandoned and rejected children are from heterosexuals. If they aren’t prepared to be parent, why did they bore children? The stories of shelter homes are not something warm to accept. Imagine the those rejected souls get good education, meal, a bright future and happy adult. Denial of extended family doesn’t make orphans any better,’ says Pooja Srivastava
‘Social conditioning perception need to be tested with such adoption. A good process of monitoring and studies on adopted children by gay couples is a better perspective to such conditioning’, says Ankur Mondal
‘Since ancient time, family of heterosexual is defined by norms and patriarchal approaches. Society and our history have separated and differentiated families and society on biological sex assigned at birth or gender as per their understanding. Whereas it’s very important to understand that gender is not based assigned biological sex whether male or female. Gender is what a person feels. A man be a mother of child, a sister for a brother and a daughter of his father. It depends on how one feel and how one is responsible. Aren’t there instances in our society where after the death of a mother, father become and prove to be best parent. Be the change you want. Unless children are adopted or raise family; how could society decide whether gay couples could be a better parent? Time will change and by the time normalcy will shift too’, says Vijay Arora
If adoption is legally accepted in future, will the adopted child have confusion to understand parents?
‘It’s highly such children will find difficult to understand opposite sex. However, a constant communication by adopted parents and others could ease it’, says Mrs. Rakhee Dwivedi
‘Understanding gender could be difficult initially for several first adopters because of social conditioning. The adopted child stays with the gay couples like heterosexual. Gay couples might be open in sex education to child than heterosexuals. Calling male as dad or female as mom doesn’t really make a great family! It’s holistic development of child and parents together that makes a great family!’, says Pooja Srivastava.
‘As heterosexual struggle with upbringing; similar struggles gay couples will have to face. An additional task of helping child understand the sexuality could solve confusion’, says Ankur Mondal
‘One of the way children learn by seeing and/or doing. Parents are first teacher to all children. It’s the responsibility of any parents to educate the child. School and home could become an inclusive environment for child to understand and appreciate itself and others’, says Vijay Arora
Will sex education to such children become more difficult?
‘Children have a capacity to absorb the information. Sex could be seen as a basic instinct and attraction towards the opposite gender is normalcy. Initially child could have surprises on understanding the genders’, says Mrs. Rakhee Dwivedi
‘Assuming such adopted children overcome hurdles of school. There are several questions that need to be answered such as, will child be able to find alliance (bride or groom)? Will bride or groom family accept adopted children?’, asks Dr. Shayan Haq
‘It has to be more inclusive! This could include all spectrum of sexuality and gender’, says Pooja Srivastava.
‘Such education in today’s time is necessity. Knowing oneself and understanding others is way to collaborate to create a better world’, says Vijay Arora.
How could one handle the adopted child in case couple seek divorce?
‘To begin one could adopt some models from countries that has legalized. Among heterosexuals, norms are not gender neutral as most of time woman gets custody of the child. LGBT community would be open to debate and discussion to create a congenial environment’, says Pooja Srivastava
‘As each case with heterosexuals is weighed by the court, in similar way could be an easy answer’, says Ankur Mondal.
‘It need to be dealt the same as anyone in the society. If the child is adult, child could be given a choice to pick the parent’, says Vijay Arora.