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16 Jul 2020, Edition - 1829, Thursday

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Health & Lifestyle

Sex advice that doesn’t work

Indrani Thakurata

There are multiple articles and people who would keep giving you gyan on sex and how to do it. How to make it more fun, how to excite the other one. But the truth is, no matter how many sex tricks you have up your sleeves; you need to know your partner before applying the sex tricks. It will differ from each individual, liking and turn ons and offs can’t be generalised. But sex gurus and magazines selling sex will have you believe that they have all the answers and the sex advice that they are offering you will guarantee a bed breaking exercise. Sorry to disappoint, i will tell you 5 sex advice that are popular but doesn’t work.

Keep the volume low:Some people are so loud while making out that the neighbours know of their session at night. And if that’s the case with you, it isn’t cool at all. Affirmative moans are sexy but noisy can unsettle anyone,leave alone the one trying to make love to you.

No action that can prove fatal :Most of us can differentiate between reel and real. So, all the sexy ideas that you see onscreen can’t be replicated in real life, or can be dangerous if done so. Car sex can look exciting but imagine going down on your partner while he is steering can be fatal. Therefore, if you get excited while in the car, you know what to do. Park it somewhere and head towards a cosy place.

No one’s wearing the pants:Like most sex therapists say, it isn’t a task that you have to perform.You don’t have to masquerade into something that you aren’t. Don’t take role playing in bed so seriously, if it doesn’t work for you. Just let loose, be yourself. “Give yourself permission to be yourself in the bedroom, discover the silly you while rolling in the bed.” Equally important is to not tell your partner what to do. Don’t be afraid to joke and laugh together while you’re rolling around in bed. Don’t order your partner around, you will only ruin the natural flow of things. Just be, and let your partner be.

Gentle bites may be?:Love bites, scratches and nibbles are ways of showing affection. But when the same becomes ferocious, and starts to hurt, then it loses its ability to tantalise or titillate. Imagine running out of bed for band aid while making love. That’s so not cool.

No finger up my unmentionables:A lot of times I hear partners complaining of a painful surprise in bed. And that painful surprise happens to be a sudden insertion in their anus during sex. Their shriek and their complaining is not worth it. It can be a stimulating experience for you, but if your partner is weary and doesn’t approve of it, why do it. And absolute no-no to an unexpected one. Thumbs down.

No Forkplay this is :Sex can be celebrated in so many ways. Many need crutches to arouse the sexual being in the other, or just excite each other. Colourful feathers, rose petals are some known ones that add to the aesthetic look and feel of lovemaking. But forks and spoons can be awful, dangerous and turn offs.

Using your tongue too much:Though the idea of slobbering your partner with saliva kisses can be enticing but making little saliva puddles all over the body can be quite disgusting. You agree?

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