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29 Sep 2020, Edition - 1904, Tuesday

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Health & Lifestyle

How To Not Turn Every Conversation Into A Fight

ndtv.com

There are so many times that when we are talking to our special someone, half the things get lost in translation (in the head), or misunderstood, or taken in the wrong sense. There are so many things that mess up a relationship all in the name of bad communication.

And it is not just romantic relationships that we are talking about – any relationship can crumble under the issues that come up due to miscommunication. And it is not just that the relationship, it is also mentally taxing to be in that situation where you are trying to get through to someone and they are just not getting your point because of one thing of the other. By the end of it both the people are so tired that they just give up. And that, lads and ladies, is how people just – stop – talking to each other.

So in the heat of the moment, or before, sometimes even after, remember a few points and we will be good to go.

Find a good time to talk

Sometime during the day, set aside some time to devote to each other and just each other, it can be during the lunch or at night when you don’t have other things bogging your mind down. But make sure you communicate well during that time.

Don’t interrupt each other

Most of the times we are so focused on being heard rather than hearing what the other person has to say that we just keep talking over them and in the end no one is really heard. Don’t do that. Listen to what the other person is saying and then respond when it’s your turn to talk.

Don’t walk away

Apart from the fact that this is so blood-boiling and infuriating, it helps no one because the status quo doesn’t change at all. After the end of the whole thing, the conversation or the fight is still unresolved.

Listen to understand and not to retort

It is probably not a ‘you against him’ sort of situation, it is the two of you versus the problem. Therefore, listen to what the other is saying and try and understand their viewpoint rather than thinking constantly on how to counter.

Don’t play games

Say what you mean and say only that. Don’t expect them to read between the lines, or understand something without you even saying it et al. All this doesn’t help in any way.

Use “I” more than “You”

When you start a sentence with “you”, it is mostly construed as an attack on the person. Instead start a sentence with “I” and go on to talk about how you feel about something. That way the conversation becomes about addressing concerns and not a fight.

And most importantly, the next time you are gearing up for “the talk” remember these pointers.

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