Scream and shout, protest and fight, women find that they still have to continue to fight for their rights – even as the male dominated society repels with its firm grip on ground reality. Violence against women and violations of their rights are routine.

And sadly, most of the violations are not even seen as violations, activists lament.

They are seen as rituals.

Like the one at Chokkampudur Crematorium in Coimbatore, where Eshwari was forced to do away with mangal sutra (golden marriage chain), flowers from her hair, turmeric and vermillion from her face. Even as she was mourning her husband Armugam’s death.

Mahendran, who runs an NGO Eera Nenjam, was an eyewitness to the incident that he views it as violation of basic human rights. In a short interview with Covai Post, he argues out a case for stopping the practice which humiliates women at a time when they were undergoing a great personal loss.

Excerpts:

Covai Post: But this practice is ancient. Why is it that you would feel there is urgent need to tackle this now?

Mahendran: The intensity and cruelty involved in the process needs to be checked. It has been done in secret, as a private affair in many households. I had recently witnessed how a widow was publicly humiliated. This only exposes a cruel apathy that our society has towards women. It is truly an assault upon the woman and must not be seen as a simple ritual.

Covai Post: Misogyny has become a well-debated topic in our society now. Would you categorize this incident as an example of misogyny or patriarchy?

Mahendran: As it clearly enjoys a woman’s suffering, it is indeed misogyny. I agree that these processes have been followed from the ancient times, but declaring it a ritual and torturing the woman is clearly against her rights. The choice to remove her wedding chain and vermilion should be hers alone. Look at the brutality of the word snatching. The ritual is appropriately named because even witnessing it, left me scarred. What surprised me is that it is women who incorporate these rituals upon another woman. This shows how Patriarchy has left women with a notion that being born as a woman itself is a sin. While women have defeated many obstacles, patriarchy still seems all powerful.

Covai Post: Hypocrisy and cruelty towards women’s rights has become a part of our rituals and culture. Do you agree?

Mahendran: Women, who are prohibited from entering crematoriums are forced to go through such inane rituals inside the grounds. Sometimes they have to shave their heads, wear certain clothes and look ugly, acts meant to make the woman unfit for another man while a man is allowed to remarry casually. The hypocrisy is apparent is such situations. It is a pity that in a society that strives to give a second life to a tree, prohibits its women from moving on in life. Think about it in a personal context for a second. Would we stand idly when such a thing happens to our mother?

Covai Post: Who do you think must bring about an awareness among the public that this is wrong?

Mahendran: Women stand as equals to men in all fields and share all rights with men. Therefore, as a democracy, only the Government of India can bring about this awareness. We must file petitions against such acts and make sure that they are termed as illegal; an act against women’s basic human rights.

Covai Post: This ritual has been with our society for a long time. Don’t you think a law declaring it as illegal would cause an uproar within communities?

Mahendran: When we see it in that way, even Sati was an accepted practice for many years. Just as it was declared illegal as it was clear violation of rights, this must also be so.

Mr. Mahendran is the managing director of the NGO called ‘Eera Nenjam’, based in Coimbatore. He can be contacted at 91-9080131500